You know it, you love it, it’s that time of year again!
Welcome to the 2023 Best Sexy [Thing That Is Inherently Not Sexy] Halloween Costume Contest™!
A wise Internet Person once said: your brand is the thing that makes people think of you. In which case: my brand is… sexy Halloween costumes?
Welcome back to what is inexplicably my most popular blog topic ever: the announcement of this year’s long-awaited What is the Best Sexy [Thing That Is Inherently Not Sexy] Halloween Costume Contest™.
What is the Best Sexy [Thing That Is Inherently Not Sexy] Halloween Costume Contest™, you ask? It’s an annual event on my social media, now entering its seventh year, celebrating (?) the weirdness that is Halloween as celebrated on Earth (especially as celebrated in the United States) Specifically, the weirdness of Halloween costumes.
What is so weird about Halloween Costumes?
Imagine that you are a woman (easy for about 50% of you) and that your favorite animal is a moose (easy for me and hopefully at least one other person in the world). You want nothing more than to go out with your friends and celebrate the majestic moose.
Behold, the ONLY women’s moose costume I could find on the Internet:
And there is the problem: for just about any costume idea you can imagine, there are no normal costumes available in women’s sizes for that idea – instead, there are just SEXY costumes. And Sexy Moose is not even in the Top 100 weirdest.
And so in 2015, I decided to take the moose by the antlers and sponsor a contest. I invite you to suggest the best, weirdest, most WTF examples of sexy Halloween costumes. In particular, I invite you to suggest costumes that bring sexy to things that are totally, completely, Inherently Not Sexy.
Presenting the winners from previous years, and the people who suggested them:
2015: Sexy Orca
2016: Sexy Scrabble
2017: Sexy Green Poo
2018: Sexy Marcel Duchamp Art Gallery Urinal
2019: Sexy Mr. Rogers
[Skipped a couple years there but]
2022: Sexy Tardigrade
Can anyone stop Elliot’s two-year winning streak! Can anyone possibly suggest anything more insane than Sexy Tardigrade? Now is the time to find out! Send me your suggestions!
Comment here with links – or if you know me in real life, contact me in any of the ways you know how to contact me in real life. Let’s make this the Sexiest Year Ever!