2023 NFL Season MVP Lamar Jackson’s AI-generated prediction as a woman
Happy Super Bowl Sunday!
You probably have so many questions for this weekend. Who will win? What will be the best storylines? Who will have the best commercial? How many times will the CBS broadcast show Taylor Swift? What would each NFL team’s starting quarterback look like as a woman? Wait, what?
A new tool has emerged to answer these questions that are so stupid you never thought to ask: Artificial Intelligence (AI). And it’s really good. I’ll explain what I did, how it worked, and why you should care. Then I’ll start to reveal what each gender-swapped quarterback might look like. I could show them all to you now… or I could show them a few at a time and generate cheap new content for months. As a blogger, the choice is obvious.
But, it’s Super Bowl Sunday, so I will show what tonight’s two starting quarterbacks would look like. Read to the end to find out.
What I Did
I used the Gender Swap option of the Media.IO AI Face Editor. I downloaded the official headshots of each starting quarterback from nfl.com, uploaded them to the face editor, ran the filter, and downloaded the results.
I wanted to demonstrate the technology by showing a nightmare fuel example contrasted with a really convincing example – but they were all pretty convincing. The worst result I could get was for Indianapolis Colts quarterback Gardner Minshew, for reasons that will be obvious once you see the official NFL.com headshot of Gardner Minshew on the left below. The image on the right shows an AI-generated estimate of what Minshew would look like as a woman – and honestly, it’s not that bad.
OriginalAI-generated
The photo looks a bit strange, but it definitely looks like a real photo of a real woman. If this is the worst the technology could do, then it must work pretty well.
How It Works
What’s going on here? Nothing magical. It’s just a computer program designed to read faces. A human face, man or woman, has lots of features that can be measured. What’s the distance between your eyes? What angle does your the bridge of your nose make relative to the rest of your face? There are thousands of such measurements, some of which might never occur to you, and every face has different measurements. And the program underlying the AI Face Editor has seen billions of faces.
All it’s doing is looking at the facial features of these photos. When it sees a photo of me or Gardner Minshew or you (if you’re a woman, with all necessary changes), it makes those measurements and compares it to measurements on the billions of men’s faces it has seen before. It then reads through the many women’s faces that it has seen before. It then does a Lot of Math (that I won’t pretend to understand) to predict, based on billions of faces, what a woman’s face with equivalent features would look like.
All that the AI program is doing is making a prediction based on known data. It’s the next step in the evolution of big data – which is why I find it so fascinating.
Why You Should Care
You should care because it is so good. And it keeps getting better.
Gardner Minshew from 2021-era Face app AI lol
You might remember FaceApp, which was popular on Facebook for a few years after its release in 2017. It did… not as good. To the right (or above if you’re on a phone) is what FaceApp did with Gardner Minshew’s official nfl.com headshot.
This – THIS was nightmare fuel! *chef’s kiss*
In fact, my original plan for this post was to use FaceApp. But as soon as I used the Media.io AI gender swap filter, I saw how far the technology had come, and this became a very different post.
If this is how far the technology has come in the seven years since 2017, what will it look like in 2031?
And it’s not just face editing. Artificial Intelligence prediction tools are changing many areas of modern life – especially the best general purpose tool (for now), ChatGPT. But more on that one later.
This technology has the potential to make just as big a change to society as the Internet did starting in the 1990s. Is it going to change society for the better or for the worse? It’s up to us.
Today’s Game
But for tonight, enjoy the Big Game. Here, presented Street Fighter style, are the AI-generated gender swapped quarterbacks for each team: Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City Chiefs and Brock Purdy of the San Francisco 49ers:
Who will win the game? Here is my official prediction:
Taylor Swift’s Publicist
*Caution: Any comments that try to make this about women’s sports or transgender people will be immediately yeeted into the sun
After 30 votes, unprecedented write-in votes because you begged me to consider honorable mention entries for the winnner – and the CLOSEST VOTE EVER – we have a winner in the Seventh Annual Best Sexy [Thing That Is Inherently Not Sexy] Halloween Costume Contest!
In my succexy earlier post, I explained the purpose of the contest and reviewed the winners of previous contests. On Halloween Eve, I revealed this year’s record 42 nominees, sent in by you! From there, I chose 15 finalists and invited you to vote for your favorites.
Here are the results, including the write-in vote recipients, in order of increasing votes cultimating in our 2023 WINNER!
Suggested by Anna Routly and advocated by Sharon Kalter
Sexy Non-Copyright-Infringing Superhero Italian Plumber
Suggested by Andrew Rivera and Kim Nies
Sexy Pumpkin Man
Suggested by Mike Lowe
Sexy Ronald Dion DeSantis, the “Governor” of “Florida”
Suggested by Tim Christopher
Sexy Venus Flytrap
Suggested by Matt Brashears
Sexy Zoidberg (write-in vote!)
Sexy Halloween costume you say? WHY NOT ZOIDBERG?
Suggested by David Dudich and advocated by Nichole Benson Lorrius
Tied for fourth place with two votes each:
Sexy Flying Squirrel (write-in vote!)
Suggested by David Dudich and advocated by Sharon Kalter and Nichole Benson Lorrius
Sexy Skeletor
Suggested by Mary Jo Richards
Tied for third place with three votes each:
Sexy Piñata
Suggested by Kim Nies
Sexy Roach
Sexy Roach
Sexy Waldo
Suggested by Anna Routly
In second place, with four votes:
Sexy Snail
Suggested by Dave Fishman
….and your 2023 Best Sexy [Thing That Is Inherently Not Sexy] Halloween Costume Contest WINNER, with five votes:
Sexy Hamburglar
Suggested by Theresa Moody
Congratulations(?) to Sexy Hamburglar, and congratulations(?) to Theresa for the winning suggestion!
The pantheon now consists of: Sexy Orca, Sexy Scrabble, Sexy Green Poo, Sexy Marcel Duchamp Art Gallery Urinal, Sexy Mr. Rogers, Sexy Tardigrade, and now, SEXY HAMBURGLAR!
Thanks to everyone for playing, and I can’t wait for the 2024 contest!
UPDATE: Last chance to vote! Voting closes at noon ET on Halloween Day!
Amazing response once again to this year’s Best Sexy [Thing That Is Inherently Not Sexy] Halloween Costume Contest!
We got a record 42 entries! All entries are shown below, but for the purposes of picking a winner, I whittled the full list down to 15 finalists. And here are the 15 finalists, in alphabetical order, with the name of the person or people who suggested each. So many great entries this year, and now it’s time for YOU to pick the winner!
Review the list below, then vote using the Sexy Ballot below. Whoever gets the most votes is our winner for 2023!
The voting deadline is tomrrrow, Halloween Day, at noon ET. Results will be announced here on the blog at 3 PM ET!
And here are this year’s finalists:
Sexy Beekeeper
Suggested by Margaret Kosmala and Erin Purcell
After so many Sexy Bee costumes for Halloween, why not see what life is like on the other side?
And who knows, if there are enough Sexy Bees at your Halloween gathering, you might be able to collect some honey!
Sexy Donald Trump
Suggested by John London
To be fair, lots of people think that Donald Trump is inherently sexy. I don’t see it, but whatever builds your wall.
Sexy Emu
Suggested by David Dudich
This one definitely wins for “best nightmare fuel.”
Sexy Hamburglar
Suggested by Theresa Moody
Unlike some of the non-copyright-infringing entries below, this one is actually called “Sexy Hamburglar” in the catalog. Did McDonalds agree to this? Is hamburgling sexy?
For all those times you want to take over the world, but you just can’t do it alone. Time to recruit new followers!
Sexy Non-Copyright-Infringing Superhero Italian Plumber
Suggested by Andrew Rivera and Kim Nies
Mama Mia! It’s a-me, the Non-Copyright-Infringing Superhero Italian Plumber!
Also available in Sexy Non-Copyright-Infringing Superhero Italian Plumber’s brother (really, see the full list of suggestions below).
Sexy Piñata
Suggested by Kim Nies
OH GOD NO. PLEASE DO NOT WEAR THIS COSTUME!
Sexy Pumpkin Man
Suggested by Mike Lowe
Dudes shouldn’t feel left out of the fall-themed Halloween costumes either! Decorate it any way you please!
Sexy Roach
Suggested by Jackie Bowman
Try not to get stepped on!
Sexy Ronald Dion DeSantis
Suggested by Tim Christopher
The “Governor” of “Florida” won’t let K-12 students have nicknames, so he doesn’t get to be called “Ron.” But he does get an AI-generated sparkly dress! Now he’s not allowed in schools or public venues.
Sexy Scooby-Doo
Suggested by Brandi Silver
The gang tries to solve the mystery of who could possibly find Scooby-Doo sexy!
Sexy Skeletor
Suggested by Mary Jo Richards
Until Next Halloween!
Sexy Snail
Suggested by Dave Fishman
This costume can really help you come out of your shell!
Sexy Venus Flytrap
Suggested by Matt Brashears
Looking to make a catch at this year’s Halloween party? Want to invite someone out for a bite to eat? This costume meets all your needs as a growing organism!
Sexy Waldo
Suggested by Anna Routly
AKA Sexy Wally in the United Kingdom
Upside: distitnctive and sexy costume
Downside: no one can find you
Vote Here
And now it’s time to vote for your favorite costume! Choose a radio button below to select your favorite costume, then click Submit. Results will be announced tomorrow – Halloween Day – at 3 PM ET!
[formidable id=2]
Honorably Sexy Mention
Although I could only choose 15 finalists, I carefully considered all 42 submissions. Here are the others:
You know it, you love it, it’s that time of year again!
Welcome to the 2023 Best Sexy [Thing That Is Inherently Not Sexy] Halloween Costume Contestâ„¢!
A wise Internet Person once said: your brand is the thing that makes people think of you. In which case: my brand is… sexy Halloween costumes?
Welcome back to what is inexplicably my most popular blog topic ever: the announcement of this year’s long-awaited What is the Best Sexy [Thing That Is Inherently Not Sexy] Halloween Costume Contestâ„¢.
What is the Best Sexy [Thing That Is Inherently Not Sexy] Halloween Costume Contestâ„¢, you ask? It’s an annual event on my social media, now entering its seventh year, celebrating (?) the weirdness that is Halloween as celebrated on Earth (especially as celebrated in the United States) Specifically, the weirdness of Halloween costumes.
What is so weird about Halloween Costumes?
Imagine that you are a woman (easy for about 50% of you) and that your favorite animal is a moose (easy for me and hopefully at least one other person in the world). You want nothing more than to go out with your friends and celebrate the majestic moose.
Behold, the ONLY women’s moose costume I could find on the Internet:
And there is the problem: for just about any costume idea you can imagine, there are no normal costumes available in women’s sizes for that idea – instead, there are just SEXY costumes. And Sexy Moose is not even in the Top 100 weirdest.
And so in 2015, I decided to take the moose by the antlers and sponsor a contest. I invite you to suggest the best, weirdest, most WTF examples of sexy Halloween costumes. In particular, I invite you to suggest costumes that bring sexy to things that are totally, completely, Inherently Not Sexy.
Presenting the winners from previous years, and the people who suggested them:
2015: Sexy Orca
Suggested by Jeremy Berg
2016: Sexy Scrabble
Suggested by Kelly Simms
2017: Sexy Green Poo
Suggested by Aimee Shoff
2018: Sexy Marcel Duchamp Art Gallery Urinal
Suggested by Christina Rawls
2019: Sexy Mr. Rogers
Suggested by Elliot Kresmer
[Skipped a couple years there but]
2022: Sexy Tardigrade
Suggested by Elliot Kresmer
Can anyone stop Elliot’s two-year winning streak! Can anyone possibly suggest anything more insane than Sexy Tardigrade? Now is the time to find out! Send me your suggestions!
Comment here with links – or if you know me in real life, contact me in any of the ways you know how to contact me in real life. Let’s make this the Sexiest Year Ever!
Finally – Argentina’s superstar player Lionel Messi has won the World Cup
Time to give out my awards for the just-completed Men’s World Cup of soccerfootball! This has been the most controversial, most entertaining, and downright weirdest World Cup since I started following men’s soccerfootball World Cups twenty-eight years ago, so giving out awards should be extra fun this time.
Today, I’ll review the tournament, and the USA’s performance in it, and give out some team and individual awards. With video links to some match highlights and some key moments in the matches! Wednesday, I’ll review some of the moments that made this World Cup a classic.
On to the awards!
Team Awards
Best team: Argentina, who won the World Cup final in a penalty kick shootout against defending champions France. The final was the most exciting game of soccerfootball I remember. See below for more about that.
Worst team: The host country, Qatar. The country hosting the World Cup automatically qualifies for the tournament, even if they wouldn’t have qualified otherwise and have no business being there. Qatar played bravely and didn’t embarrass themselves, but they were obviously outclassed and became the first country ever to lose all three of their group stage games, scoring just one goal and giving up seven.
Most disappointing team: Sigh, my Sainted Spouse‘s homeland of Belgium. The “Red Devils” crashed out of the first round after scoring only one goal against last-placed Canada. Germany and Mexico also disappointed by falling out in the first round, but at least they scored multiple goals along the way.
Most entertaining team: Morocco, who became the first African country ever to make the World Cup semifinals. Their second-round game against their former colonial overlords Spain was the best display of defense I have ever seen. The game ended 0-0 after overtime, and Spain’s weaksauce penalty shots helped Moroccan goalkeeper Bono (yes, his nickname really is Bono) save all three. Morocco won 0(3) to 0(0). Watch the highlights of that game below under “Best Game That Wasn’t the Final”:
Morocco then repeated the solid defensive performance, but scored a goal too, as they beat Portugal 1-0 in the quarterfinals. Amazingly, up to that point they had gone five full games, 330+ minutes, without allowing a single opposition goal (the one goal they gave up to Canada was an own goal). And then it took one of the best goals of the tournament, by France’s Theo Hernandez, to break the drought (that link, sadly still available only in the USA, goes directly to Hernandez’s goal. Morocco lost that game 2-0, and then went on to lose the third place game 2-1 to Croatia. The real World Cup championship was the friends they made along the way (including me, I was cheering wildly for Morocco all through the France game).
My meme contribution at halftime. This almost aged hilariously badly, except Argentina held on to win in penalty kicks.
Best game: The final. Argentina led 2-0 at halftime after dominating the first half so much that I posted this dead horse meme with labeled the horse “France.” Hahahahaha that seemed like a good idea at the time.
A tied game after overtime meant penalty kicks to decide the World Cup. France missed one and had one saved by Argentina goalkeeper Emiliano MartÃnez, and Argentina made all theirs. Argentina won by the final score (the second number is successful penalties) of Argentina 3(4) France 3(2).
If you haven’t watched highlights of the final, watch them right now in the video below. Unfortunately, this video, and all the other videos I have embedded or linked to here in this post, are available only to computers in the United States. But here are links to highlights of the final that you can watch from Belgium, the United Kingdom, and Australia. (I’ll go back and add equivalent links to other highlights as time permits. If you would like a link for your country, email me at jordan.raddick@gmail.com.
If you’re not a soccerfootball fan, you will be after you see this game.
The most exciting World Cup final ever: Argentina 3(4) France 3(2)
Worst game: Uruguay and South Korea, two teams with successful recent histories in the World Cup, somehow combine for only one shot on target in a spectacularly boring 0-0 in the first match in Group H. I’m not linking to highlights of this one, because why would anyone want to see that?
Craziest game: Saudi Arabia 2 Argentina 1, maybe the craziest game and biggest upset in World Cup history. After an early penalty gave Argentina a 1-0 lead, the Argentines had three first-half apparent goals called back due to offside. Saudi Arabia had two goals early in the second half off of shots that were objectively unwise, but with some luck and skill made it into the back of the net. In particular, the second goal, scored by Salem Al-Dasawri, was beautiful. And that’s it, those were the Saudis’ only shots on goal for the game, and both went in. The Saudis then held on to the win thanks to two amazing saves from goalkeeper Mohammed Al-Owais.
It was a stunning upset at the time, and even more shocking now that we know that Argentina went on to win the World Cup.
The craziest game of this, and maybe any, World Cup: Saudi Arabia 2 Argentina 1
Best game that wasn’t the final: As mentioned above under Most Entertaining Team, the second round game between Morocco and Spain, which ended on penalty kicks with the final score Morocco 0(3) Spain 0(0). Watch the highlights below.
“Best” Clemsoning: Brazil was the pre-tournament favorite, and dominated all their group stage matches (even including their final 1-0 loss to Cameroon by essentially their B team, after they had already guaranteed qualification to the second round). Then, back to their full-strength starting 11, they dominated South Korea 4-1 in a game that was not even as close as the score indicated. In the quarterfinals, after a scoreless regulation, they led Croatia 1-0 – and gave up a soft goal to Bruno Petković with just five minutes left to send the game to a penalty shootout.
That’s definitely some serious attempted Clemsoning right there, but they’re still in it… and they’re still Brazil, right? Then this happens (the embed is to the Clemson moment, make sure you play this video with the sound on, the doink off the post is epic):
DOINK!
With that doink by Marquinhos, Croatia won 1(4) to 1(2) and advanced to the semifinals.
So no matter who went on to win the final (belated spoiler: it was Argentina), both players played well enough that I’m giving them both a co-award.
It’s not that I couldn’t decide, it’s that both of them were so equally good that I have to give the award to both.
Best “Hi Mom, I’m Playing in the World Cup”: Brazil’s third-string goalkeeper Weverton, from Brazilian Wyoming (the state of Acre), came on in the 80th minute against South Korea, and did not face a single shot. It was Weverton’s first minutes in the World Cup, and at age 34 likely his last. He touched the ball twice – but he made his contribution, and he’ll always get to say he played for Brazil in the World Cup.
American Exceptionalism Awards for American Americans in America
How did the United States Men’s National Team do?: About as expected. The USMNT dominated possession in the first game against Wales and led 1-0 after a goal by Tim Weah, but Walker Zimmerman gave up a dumb penalty that Gareth Bale converted for disappointing a 1-1 tie that . They then played an even game with former colonial overlord England, ending in a moderately entertaining 0-0 tie. That left the USMNT needing a win in the final group stage game against Iran. Late in the first half, star forward Christian Pulisic scored while getting kneed in the abdomen – watch the replay below!
The USA held on to win 1-0, finish second in their group, and advance to a second round matchup with the Netherlands – where they promptly forgot how to playdefense in a 3-1 loss.
Like I said, it’s about where the USA was expected – and deserved – to finish. We are definitely one of the 16 best men’s national teams in the world, and definitely not one of the top 8.
USAMVP: Defender Sergiño Dest, who created the most chances all tournament, including an assist on Pulisic’s decisive goal against Iran.
